December 2011
14 posts
Warner Bros. Car Museum.
Dad: Take a picture of me next to this car.
Me: What's it from?
Dad: It's a Cadillac.
Me: Yeah, but what movie is it from?
Dad: I don't know, but it's a Cadillac.
Me: Is that all you're eating?
Sister: Mmm.
Me: Are you anorexic again?
Sister: That was never funny.
Me: That's why I said 'again'.
Sister: What if I was actually anorexic, and you were making fun of me?
Me: I feel like, with our relationship, I would be able to get away with it.
Sister: You are a terrible person.
After I shaved my head.
Aunt, to my dad: He looks like you!
Dad: I know.
Aunt: No, that's a bad thing. He used to look like his mother.
Aunt: Do they have The Gap in Australia?
Me: Nahp.
Aunt: Then what the hell DO you have?!
A ridiculously tiny gold sequin jacket.
Mum: Hey, I'm going to wear this jacket.
Me: Ok...
Mum: To your wedding.
Me: Mmm...
Mum: To embarrass you.
Me: Oh.
Sister: Are all these clothes for you?
Me: Not all of them. We bought a 6XL shirt purely for the purposes of comedy.
Sister: See, that's the difference between us.
Me: Everyone sounds so American here.
Sister: Wow! That's so weird!
Me: It's, like, a country full of American people.
Sister: Oh my god! What would you even call that?
Me: Hey, my papadams are still here.
Sister: You're a papadam.
Me: Mmm.
Sister: That's funny because of your culture.
Shing Hei: What's that?
Me: A noticeboard.
Shing Hei: Oh. I thought it was abstract art.
Sister: Why do they call it Blockbuster?
Me: You see, in ancient times-
Sister: Don't.
Me: They didn't have many forms of entertainment, so they would spend time making blocks-
Sister: You know how this story would be better? If you mimed it. In your head. In another room.
Playing Prince of Persia 2008.
Me: You've been using pretty unorthodox methods to climb these walls.
Sister: What's an orthodox way to climb a wall?
Playing Prince of Persia 2008.
Me: You literally can't die, because a magical princess saves you every time you fall.
Sister: Hey, that's just like my life.
November 2011
11 posts
Sarith: Are you two arguing over the remote control's shape?
Me: Yup.
Sister: Yes.
Sarith: I need sleep.
Bulk-buy warehouse.
Kat: Oh look! You can buy bulk condoms!
Tori: Don't they have an expiry, though?
Kat: Yeah, good point. I don't even think I could use that many before they expired. What are people thinking!?
Tori: Well, obviously they're thinking about getting busy...
*she looks back at all the condoms*
Tori: ...very busy.
Kat: Ohh, that's the trick!
Tori: Look! You can buy bulk pregnancy tests for the ones you use after their expiry date!
Kat: Hahaha- oooh, they're actually a really good price!