February 2012
10 posts
Nice old lady from across the street.
Dad: Good morning, Helen!
Helen: Good morning! How are you?
Dad: Good! My son and I just went for a swim.
Helen: You did? Congratulations!
Sister: Look up what "narcolepsy" is.
Me: Why?
Sister: Look it up.
Me: I know what narcolepsy is.
Sister: But you didn't laugh appropriately! It was a good joke!
Me: Yeah, but we'd have to get at least two dogs.
Sarith: WHAT? You don't want to walk a dog, but you would-
Me: No, but in Switzerland, it's illegal to have just one pet, because it's considered animal cruelty if they get lonely.
Sarith: Get two goldfish! Feed them once a day, and hug the bowl when you get home.
“I had the best Valentine’s, getting money from Centrelink.”
– Jennifer.
Me: You know what? I'm just going to smear peanut butter on bread and eat it.
Sister: You are a disgusting person.
Me: What? What do you do with peanut butter?
Sister: I throw it away!
“That’s the third time someone told me to leave this house today.”
– Erin, when Claudia told her to leave my house.
Susannah: Can you pay full attention to Monopoly, and then take, like, ten minute breaks for Skyrim?
Me: I feel like I can accomplish both at the same time.
Sister: I feel like you've never accomplished anything in your life.
“Oh no, Pedro is trying to be funny again.”
– Tori.
Quote #600.
Me: What did you say?
Erin: Nothing.
Sister: We were talking about how much we don't like you. But, shh, don't tell anyone.
Searching through my wardrobe.
Me, opening a drawer: Hey, do you want some popcorn?
Sister: Because I'm going to a par- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!